It’s been 23 years that I haven’t been talking with you …I’ve been thinking a lot these days, and with everything happening around me, I realized that sometimes I take you for granted.
so, I decided to write everything that I wanted to tell you, in person. Firstly, I wanted to thank you for each smile, each love, each happy moment, that you gave to me. I wanted to thank you, for every person you bring to my world, no matter if he or she was a true friend or just a lesson. The most important thing that you gave me is my family and friends. I know the family is given by birth, and friends we pick ourselves. But you bring them into my life. And you couldn’t do better.
People that bring so much light, and happiness. Every moment that I spent with you is precise. And I thank for that.
I am aware that life is not a straight line, there are ups and downs. I had both. a lot of ups, that i am proud of. And I know that people who love me are proud of, too. I am proud of my soul. For all of the colors that it has. For all imagination. For Love. There has always been more love for someone else, than for me. But I do not matter.
For my downs. . . I am sorry that the motivation you gave me I took for granted. I did not use it. I fail. Some chances you gave me I did not take advantage of. Truly I am sorry about that. I did not stand up for you when you are for me.
But dear life, I can’t appreciate you for the pain you gave me sometimes…. a lot lately. There was some thought I learned something. But you know what I am thinking about. The real pain. Sometimes it hurt so much. The tears, sometimes couldn’t come because of the pain and how strong it was. But I am proud, WE SURVIVE. And because of that, just that, I know I am strong. I survive what most of the people won’t. They will give up. But we won’t. And I am proud of US, LIFE.
… You know the only problem is my heart. It is so artistic, you must admit. And I thank you for that. It is a garden, full of daffodils, and sunflowers, surrounded by rainbows, not sun. It is how I imagine and felt like. But you know, I found love in books, characters, music, lyrics, in wind, and rain. And that makes my daffodils flower. It is hard for me to find love in person. Because strange things connect me. Eyes attract me. And how someone smiles with eyes. Eyewink attracts me. The smile makes me goosebumps.
But I do not worry, life. We will find our soulmate. The daffodils will flower like never.